Martha.

Martha^**: Do you remember Simon^*?
Me: Ugh. Yes. That guy’s the worst.
Martha: He’s dead.
Me: … You couldn’t have led with that?!?

*Not his real name.

** Her real name.

Surprise.

I’m terrible at blogging. …SURPRISE! Oh, wait – I already knew and you don’t care.  I guess it’s not much of a surprise.

I’m taking the week off and boy, are you going to hear about it.  I’ll be telling you all about Bella from Twilight, the problem with Men, the one-hundred-year reign of Donald Glover that began yesterday, and the battle as old as time itself: Ayn Rand vs. Dorothy Parker.

Please, stay tuned.  Await with baited breath. Remain in a state of cat-like readiness.

Until then, though, I got you this: