Fourteen.
I was the most terrible fourteen-year-old alive.
Proof postive: A letter to my Grandmother in 1990.
Wedding.
I’m not getting married (ever. for the rest of my life. ad infinitum. e pluribus unum. trololololo.) but my ace homegirl MarshmellowFluffStuff is. Part of my duties as a bridesmaid is to scour the internet and be annoyed by fucking hipsters in love. Join me!
Wed in 60 seconds (Jeanna & Jeff) by Made in Camera
Christina & Jacob by A Bryan Photo
Ah, who am I kidding? I love love! It warms the cockles of my tiny cold heart to see people come together in a tradition as old as time (I guess – I’m not one for geography). To stand before friends, family and Dads’ work buddies declaring that to the best of their ability, for the rest of their lives, they will protect someone else’s soft spot. It thrills me. And gives me hope. Surely there’s an abundance of love in the universe. And if there’s an abundance, there’s gotta be some for me, yes? Yes!
[sources: 1. sloanphotographers.info/?p=989 2. jonathanong.tumblr.com/post/459585128/brendan-jennifer-brisbane 3. www.oncewed.com/10267/real-weddings/whimsical/yellow/adam-halli-2/]
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Battle.
 |
is proud to present
Keanu Reeves vs. Scott Speedman |
wherein the author compares and contrasts the life and work of two great thespians* for absolutely no reason.
| KEANU | SCOTT | WINNER | |
| Date of Birth | September 2 | September 1 | TIE (Creepy.) |
| Age | 46 | 35 | SPEEDMAN (More age appropriate) |
| Location of Birth | Beirut, Lebanon | London, England | TIE (Foreigners!) |
| In 1994, they were filming… | Speed | Nothing | REEVES |
| Most Successful Movie | The Matrix Reloaded ($281M) | Underworld: Evolution ($62M) |
NEITHER (Shit movies) |
| Most Critically Acclaimed | Dangerous Liaisons | My Life Without Me | SPEEDMAN (You’ll see) |
| Best | Point Break | The 24th Day | REEVES (Come on.) |
*superfoxes
(Happy Birthday, you guys!)
