Fourteen.

I was the most terrible fourteen-year-old alive.

Proof postive: A letter to my Grandmother in 1990.

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Wedding.

I’m not getting married (ever. for the rest of my life. ad infinitum. e pluribus unum. trololololo.) but my ace homegirl MarshmellowFluffStuff is. Part of my duties as a bridesmaid is to scour the internet and be annoyed by fucking hipsters in love.  Join me!


Wed in 60 seconds (Jeanna & Jeff) by Made in Camera


Christina & Jacob by A Bryan Photo

Ah, who am I kidding? I love love! It warms the cockles of my tiny cold heart to see people come together in a tradition as old as time (I guess – I’m not one for geography). To stand before friends, family and  Dads’ work buddies declaring that to the best of their ability, for the rest of their lives, they will protect someone else’s soft spot. It thrills me. And gives me hope.  Surely there’s an abundance of love in the universe.  And if there’s an abundance, there’s gotta be some for me, yes? Yes!

[sources: 1. sloanphotographers.info/?p=989 2. jonathanong.tumblr.com/post/459585128/brendan-jennifer-brisbane 3. www.oncewed.com/10267/real-weddings/whimsical/yellow/adam-halli-2/]

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Battle.

Masterpiece Theatre Presents... is proud to present

Keanu Reeves vs. Scott Speedman

wherein the author compares and contrasts the life and work of two great thespians* for absolutely no reason.

KEANU SCOTT WINNER
Date of Birth September 2 September 1 TIE
(Creepy.)
Age 46 35 SPEEDMAN
(More age appropriate)
Location of Birth Beirut, Lebanon London, England TIE
(Foreigners!)
In 1994, they were filming… Speed Nothing REEVES
Most Successful Movie The Matrix Reloaded ($281M) Underworld: Evolution
($62M)
NEITHER
(Shit movies)
Most Critically Acclaimed Dangerous Liaisons My Life Without Me SPEEDMAN
(You’ll see)
Best Point Break The 24th Day REEVES
(Come on.)

*superfoxes

(Happy Birthday, you guys!)

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