ImNotDead.
The thing about me and the thing about me getting older is I have lost much of my LEGENDARY (not an accurate adjective) movie discernment. A couple of years ago a movie was either a piece of shit, totally fine or really good. Today movies are really good or ‘growing on me.’ Obviously, there are exceptions. Like, I watched Sanctum and I should have filed it under ‘piece of shit’ since it was predictable and unnecessarily graphic but it made for hilarious movie-watching. Plus, after I saw it I met a scuba diver and insisted she watch it to better understand situations she should avoid (diving, scuba diving, swimming, cave diving, doing so in Papua New Guinea during the rainy season etc).
Last weekend I saw indie-darling Friends with Kids [As a kind of an Instructables on how to handle everyone I know having kids while I spend all my time buying computer monitors. I was like YES, WRITER AND DIRECTOR JENNIFER WESTFELDT, TELL ME HOW TO DEAL WITH IT. Her suggestion? Have a kid with your best male friend. So I immediately went to work on making male friends. /End of anecdote] and I really liked it. Even though there were basic concerns (Videogum):
We were told that he was a playboy “serial dater” who loves banging chicks with big boobs and always broke up with the girls and never the other way around, but we were never shown him acting like someone who would have that lifestyle. The only occasion on which it would have been able to be shown to us was when he met Megan Fox for the first time. Like, he will pick up this hot chick and be super charming or at least Jim Halpert-level charming, and then we’ll finally understand what his personality is like around these women. But no — in his first meeting with Megan Fox he was just as nerdy and charming-in-the-nerdy-way as always.
And with Jennifer Westfeldt’s character, we weren’t even given that much. I don’t remember anything specific about that character, other than when she described her job to Kurt — “I help a rich guy pick which charities to give his money to.” Otherwise, what? She wanted a baby? She was nice? She and Adam Scott were friends who asked each other “would you rather” questions all the time? Again, probably enough information to understand the “girl” character in a shitty romantic comedy, but not enough here.
But if I were going to the movies to be accurately shown what life is like I’d watch Gerry.
Videogum didn’t address the most glaring inaccuracy in the film though – CHRIS O’DOWD’s accent. This is what I posit happened five seconds before they filmed the first group scene:
Jennifer Westfedlt: Just curious. Can you do an American accent?
Chris O’Dowd: Nope, not at all, not even for a short period of time.
Jennifer: Great! Then just do an American accent for the whole movie. Are we ready, people?!
Chris: Wait- what?!- I can’t-
Jennifer: – And ACTION!
All of which leads me to my real point – why am I single? Haha, just kidding, I know why (personality, rocks stuck in my pinky, goofy-footedness, lack of interest, lack of teeth, inability to remember how ‘brood’ is pronounced, crippling self-centeredness). My real point is I’m not dead. I didn’t die while taking two (TWO!) classes last semester and I didn’t die while doing some freelance work and I didn’t die when I realized that I haven’t watched television in a month (#humblebrag). You’re welcome, Internet.
